


No One Does It Better

by voices_in_my_head



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Stripper!AU, all the love for the OP, most awesome thing I have ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voices_in_my_head/pseuds/voices_in_my_head
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Corporal Raleigh's dating Chuck, who's a stripper and Sergeant Hansen's son and he is so, so fucked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Does It Better

**Author's Note:**

> For the most awesome prompt of all time: http://pacificrimkink.livejournal.com/2747.html?replyto=4592571

Raleigh had been at the Army for almost five years when DADT was finally ruled over. The next day he had come up to his team who consisted of Mako Mori, the smallest badass he had ever met, Sasha, who was just as badass but definitely more scary, Jin Wei who is a triplet which means that he may not be as badass as the girls on their team but that he is definitely the one that keeps putting blue ink into his shampoo and pepper into his food and finally their CO, Raleigh’s brother, Yancy and told them he was gay.

Yancy who had known before he had, had rolled his eyes alongside the girls.

Jin had almost fell down laughing. “Dude, Cheung had met you for ten seconds before he was already saying that. Of course you’re gay.”

“Oh,” Raleigh will admit that he was expecting a little more reaction.

“We totally support and to prove this to you…” They’re all smiling really big creepy smiles. Raleigh is afraid, very afraid. He’s probably more afraid than he was last time he got called into Sergeant Hansen’s office and do you have any idea how scary that is? No, you do not.

“We’re going to a gay bar!” Sasha says with a smile that would make sharks proud. Raleigh has more respect for her husband, Aleksis, than he has for his own mother, and that’s saying something.

Now, when Sasha said gay bar he had thought that was literally it. A bar that differentiated from all the others they had been since they had been put together in the first place because instead of guys picking up girls, you had guys picking up guys.

Of course, he was mistaken. Note to self: when Russians say bar, they mean strip club.

Raleigh isn’t the sort of guy that goes very often to a strip club. He has nothing against them; he just never knows how to act at one of them. He doesn’t want to be one of those perverts that watch the dancers like they’re meat but he doesn’t want to not look at them, like he thinks he’s above them, which he doesn’t because he has seen some of them and dear God, if he had that sort of elasticity.

The one they go to is called Gipsy Danger and Raleigh just looks at Yancy and says, “really? Really!?”

“Sasha choose. I think she and Aleksis are regulars.”

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

“How about you only wish you had a husband as awesome as mine?” The woman in question asks, passing between them holding onto Mako’s arm.

Raleigh nods like a little dog because it’s dangerous to say no to Sergeant Hansen, mad to refuse something for Sergeant Pentecost but it’s suicidal to go against Sasha.

“Dude, you have got to be the only gay man so whipped by a woman,” Yancy tells him.

“Dude,” he says in an ironic way because he’s almost 27 and his brother’s 30. They should not use words that surfers do. “You are just as whipped. You just like to pretend otherwise.”

Jin appears on Yancy’s other side. “Damn right, ma man. Sasha is one badass motherfucker.”

The three of them nod. No wiser words have ever been said.

“Come on, boys!” Sasha screams ahead of them and they quickly make to catch up to them.

When they enter the club it’s nothing like Raleigh expected. He has only been to two gay strip clubs but the ones he went were definitely more… he doesn’t even know how to put this. Gipsy Danger has class. Like, a lot of class.

There are no red necks around, just men in suits and Raleigh is feeling down dressed. In a strip club.

“Sasha! мой дорогой!” The guy who’s speaking to Sasha in very fast and fluent (well, it seems fluent to Raleigh’s untrained hearing) is wearing very tight leather pants and a white shirt that allows to see his tattooed arms. Raleigh is pretty sure he’s seen those figures in some comic book.

While the two speak the rest of them go get a table. It is not too close to the stage, that is currently unoccupied, but neither too far away that they won’t be able to see the show and dear God, he’s about to see some dude take out his clothes alongside his brother. As if his life couldn’t get any more awkward (actually, it really couldn’t. He got caught by his parents sucking some guy’s dick when he was seventeen. It does not get any more awkward).

“This is Newt,” Sasha says when she returns arm holding the tattooed guy who shakes everyone’s hands.

“Are you a stripper?” Mako says in the same voice she would use to ask if someone is a lawyer or a police officer and Raleigh is sure that if he were gay he would be in love with her. Actually, he’s still a bit in love.

The guy – Newt – laughs like he just heard the most fantastic joke ever. “Dear God, no. I’m just the bartender. I mean, have you seen the Greek gods that parade around here? If I tried to dance around a pole I would probably end up in the hospital. They all make it seem so easy,” he sighs, “it’s unfair, really.”

“It sure is,” Jin says and Raleigh thinks he’s being honest. “But the guys would love your tattoos, I’m sure.”

“Thanks!” Newt says with a big smile, showing off his arms. “They’re kaijus.”

“You’re kidding!” Jin says with a look Raleigh only sees when he’s talking with his brother in a foreign language. “I love those comics! Wait!” His arms get large, “isn’t Gipsy Danger one of the jaegers?”

“You’re the only person that finally got it right! I convinced my boyfriend to call it that when he bought the place.”

“Wicked!” Jin says and then they’re discussing the most dangerous kaijus and the best jaegers and Raleigh used to think mandarin was hard. It had nothing on geek talk.

Newt stays for some minutes until he goes away only to come back with a platter full of drinks.

“I was already planning to give you a round on the house since you’re Sasha’s team but now, I’m giving you three rounds.”

“This is the first time your geekiness ever got us drinks,” Yancy tells Jin.

“I told you it would happen one day,” he really, really did.

They chat and drink for another five minutes until music starts and most lights go out. It seems the show’s about to start.

“That’s Chuck,” Newt says when a big muscled guy with brown-orangish hair appears. He’s wearing a suit. Dear God, he’s wearing a suit. Raleigh really hopes he’s not drooling but from the kick he receives from Yancy, he doubts it.

Anyway, not like he notices it. Everything he has eyes for is Chuck, who is giving the best strip show he has ever seen. He’s slow and sexy about it and in perfect synch with the music.

When he’s wearing nothing but really tight boxers he goes on to the pole and Newt was right, the things the man could do with it should be illegal. Except that would make Raleigh go to prison, because he’s planning on coming here a lot more often.

When Chuck’s finished everyone’s clapping and whistling and he smirks and Raleigh just knows he’s fucked.

“I never thought I would see the moment my brother fell heads over heels in love with a stripper,” Yancy says and Sasha hits him in the back of the head.

“It’s beautiful,” Mako says with a sigh and receives a high-five from Newt.

“Luckily for you, I just happen to know Chuck is single.”

“I don’t-“ Raleigh starts but five stares silence him.

“You do. You do so much there’re hearts coming from your eyes,” Jin says. “It’s disgusting, really.” Then he smirks, “but as your friends we’re ready to help your dreams come true.”

They all nod, even Newt and in another life Raleigh would walk away from this group of weirdos but as it is he’s touched.

“And I know just where to start,” Newt says, quickly leaving them.

He comes back two minutes after but Raleigh isn’t paying attention to him. No, instead he’s paying attention at the Adonis he’s dragging by a hand. Chuck, the stripper, is a God. With capital G. Chris Hemsworth has nothing on this guy.

“Meet the guy that just fell in love with you, Raleigh,” Newt introduces them and Raleigh really hopes the drinks gave him hallucinations because he did not just hear that.

“Really?” Chuck smirks and okay, Newt was totally telling the truth. “It’s always a pleasure to meet fans,” he says with an Australian accent that reminds him of Sargent Hansen and bad brain; do not put Hercules Hansen and Chuck together.

Raleigh knows he only has once chance to cause a good impression so of course what his brain comes up with is, “you’re great with the pole.”

Yancy spits his drink, Jin falls from his chair, Mako sighs and Sasha facepalms.

Not that Raleigh notices any of it since Chuck is laughing and it’s like hearing angels singing (and not the Supernatural kind, he means actual angels, not bags of dicks). “That’s not usual what guys say when they want me to come home with them.”

“Oh?” He’s a bit sad; he really wanted to take the other man home with him.

Chuck smirks, “that’s why I usually don’t go home with them. I’m Chuck,” he’s extending his hand and dear God, Raleigh’s touching him.

“Please, if you want to sleep with my brother, take him to your place because we share an apartment and I do not want to hear the sounds he’ll make if the ones he’s making just by touching your hand are any proof.”

Chuck laughs and let’s go of his hand. Thanks a lot, Yancy. He’ll be sure to remember this next time he wants to take some woman home with him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll do that,” wait, does that mean that’s a possibility? “It all depends on you, army boy.”

Oh shit, he said it out loud.

“So, do you want to buy me a drink or what?”

Raleigh gets up from the table so fast it almost tipples over and he’s being mocked but it’s okay because Chuck’s smiling really big and honest, with crinkles and everything and Raleigh is so, so fucked.

.

_4 months later_

“Why do we have to go, again?” Chuck says from the bed but Raleigh isn’t looking because if he does he’ll climb next to him (for the second time) and they’ll be late. And they can’t be late.

“Because it’s Sasha’s and Aleksis’ anniversary and we have to go not because of all the Russian booze, but because if we don’t she will kill me and then what will you do?”

“Find a rich husband and spend all his money healing my broken heart,” Chuck answers without a second’s pause which actually makes Raleigh stop from putting on his pants.

“That’s actually a good idea,” he says and goes back to what he was doing, while Chuck laughs and not looking, not looking.

There’s silence for a few seconds until Raleigh hears the sheets rustling.

“Fine, you win. But we better have mind-blowing sex afterwards.”

“We always have mind-blowing sex.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Chuck says before he enters the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? Chuck? What do you mean?” Raleigh asks the door but there’s no answer. “Prick,” he mutters.

“I heard that.” Fucking Aussies.

.

Even though Raleigh has been going to the Kaidonovsky’s house he’s always surprised. Because their house is more like a mansion. Sasha may win what any of them does, but Aleksis is one of the best model designers around and he wins the big bucks for it.

He keeps asking for the story of they met, but neither has yet told it. It’s probably because it involves something illegal (who is he kidding? Of course it involves something illegal, maybe even a monkey).

Inside there’re already a lot of friends from both sides and Raleigh goes to find the happy couple.

“Congrats,” he says hugging them both at the same time.

“Thank you, Raleigh,” Aleksis says with an honest smile. Sasha’s is definitely fake, but that has probably to do with the fact that Aleksis’ mother travelled from Russia for this occasion. Raleigh does not want to be around for the next two weeks.

He turns around to ask Chuck if he wants a drink but he’s not there. Instead he’s talking, more like arguing, with Sergeant Hansen and they’ve been here for less than two minutes!

Raleigh’s pretty sure he knows what this is about. Everyone in the base knows he’s dating a stripper since Jin isn’t capable of keeping a secret. Sergeant Hansen probably made some jest about it and Chuck, who is very proud of his job, is probably ripping his head out.

He decides it’s probably wise to go to the two men and try to break it up before they break something.

“-a stripper!?”

“It’s not that bad, really. I’m not paid to have sex with anyone, just dance. Really, dad.”

“Dad?” Raleigh murmurs with large eyes and all he can think when Sergeant Hansen looks at him is retreat, retreat, RETREAT because he’s pretty sure he’s about to be murdered.

“You!” The Sergeant has a finger pointed towards him, almost touching his nose. “What have you done to my son?”

“What? I- Nothing- I just-“ Raleigh starts, having no idea what’s happening when Chuck’s there, pulling Sergeant Hansen’s arm down and rolling his eyes like they’re not seeing the personification of the God of War in front of them.

“Raleigh didn’t do anything. We’re just dating.”

“And where did you meet, ahm? The base can’t stop talking about how Corporal Becket met his boyfriend in a strip club!”

“So you’re ashamed?” God of War, who? The look in Chuck’s face is the real dangerous.

“Yes! I mean, no!” He grabs his son’s arm, who’s about to turn away. “I’m not ashamed of you; I could never be ashamed. You’re my only son and I don’t care that you’re a stripper. If that’s what makes you happy, then do it. I just wish you had told me sooner.”

“You would have tried to stop me,” Chuck lowers his voice, noticing most people looking at them. That is, until Sasha and Aleksis start making out and then there’s whistles all around them.

“I… You’re right. No father wants his son to be a stripper. But,” Sergeant Hansen puts his hand up when Chuck opens his mouth. “If that’s what you want, then I support you.”

“Thanks,” he smiles. “Anyway, I don’t intend to do this forever. It’s only until I graduate.”

“Oh, thank God,” the Sergeant smiles and Raleigh thinks all is good in the world. That is, until the older (and much scarier) man looks at him. “One of the rumours around base is that you’re just humouring my son. Is that true?”

“No, of course not, sir! I…” he looks at Chuck and seeing the man that hates waking up early, loves his dog more than anything, is studying to be a technician, says the only thing he can, “I love Chuck.”

Sergeant Hansen’s eyes narrow at that. “What about him being a stripper?”

“What about it, sir? I don’t care what he does.”

“You’re saying you haven’t told him to stop?”

“Of course not. Chuck is his own man and he does what he wants.”

He’s still narrowing his eyes but he extends his hand. Raleigh shakes it and then Sergeant Hansen gets a bit closer. Too close. “If you hurt him you’ll wish you could go back to the early days of your training.”

Raleigh gulps but then looks at Chuck.

“It won’t happen, sir,” he answers because hurting Chuck would be worse than hurting himself. Chuck has stolen his heart and he only hopes he never plans on giving it back.

“I love him,” he says again and Chuck smiles and Raleigh is fucked but it’s okay, he wouldn’t want it any other way.

 


End file.
